Sacrifice

Sacrifice was never meant to be easy. If you think it’s easy, I’d challenge you that you’re not truly sacrificing. Pouring out your life for others can be painful and exhausting. Remember also, that pouring your life out for others doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll see them begin to make changes in their lives that benefit them. Sometimes after pouring your life and energy out for them they continue to make the same choices that have repeatedly caused pain in their lives. What do you do when that happens? Continue to love. Is it hard to see people make choices that hurt them? Of course, it is. Is it hard to sacrifice for them the next time they want help? It can be, but if we’re honest it’s our own self-centered ego that finds it hard. Sometimes we feel used, or we feel like a failure when a person continues in their mess. These thoughts are centered on ourselves and our feelings rather than on the other person. Yes, we feel pain for the person as well when we see them make painful choices. What can stop us from helping them again though, is the pain we feel for ourselves not for them. Please note that I’m talking of truly helping people, not enabling. There is a difference. Mike and I have repeatedly told people we’d go to the ends of the earth and back again with them if they truly want help. Some truly want help but a few miles along the journey a trigger pops up that blinds them from seeing their value. They begin to believe the lie that they’re worthless and hopeless and soon their choices reflect their beliefs about themselves. For some, this causes them to veer ever so slightly off the path, some take a hard turn in the opposite direction and blame us for the negative results, and others get so lost in hopelessness they end their own lives. People can be anywhere along that spectrum. We’ve experienced many different points with those we’ve laid our lives down for. I’ve cried many tears along the way. It hurts to see people hurt themselves and others because they think so lowly of themselves. At times I’ve had my feelings hurt by the stories and accusations spread about me. In those moments I need to center myself on the truth. None of us likes to have false stories spread about us but if we allow that to trip us up and then spend time and energy defending ourselves, we’ve gotten ourselves caught up in the trap of self-centeredness. When you know the truth, you don’t have to waste time defending yourself. Will some people believe the lies about you? Possibly. If that bothers you it is just showing you an area you need to get over yourself. We all want people to like us but in reality, not everyone will, and we need to be okay with that. Helping people on this journey called life can be messy and painful, yet also rewarding. When you see someone discover their value, rejoice. When they mess up a few miles down the road, build them up. Remind yourself and them of when they saw value in themselves. Some will rediscover their value quickly while others may take longer. Some may walk out of your life for a time, but they never leave your heart. When they walk out of your life, love them enough to let them go. Down the road they may come back when they’re ready. When they do, welcome them with open arms. Love them. Value them. Forget the past and continually move forward in love.