Most Certainly

This Sunday will mark twenty-nine years of a journey that I began with a wonderful companion. It was twenty-nine years ago that we walked through a doorway into a new realm of life together. Thinking back, I can remember how insecure I felt imagining myself married to Robin. Thoughts would haunt me; Why would she want to marry me? I don’t measure up; I don’t qualify and especially this thought “I am damaged goods”.

I find it interesting that how we view ourselves can determine what we can and cannot do. I knew that Robin was my wife, there was no doubting that, it was as real to me as my next breath yet something inside of me kept telling me that I was not good enough. With that thought also came the thought, “It would be unfair to her if we married”. So, what does one do? Well, thankfully I am my father’s son. I am the son of a stubborn Polish World War II veteran who refused to allow circumstance to control his destiny. In other words, it was time to face my fears, to walk into the unknown, to walk into the darkness and trust that all will work out the way it needs to.

You see, I knew about Robin. I had seen her deeds, how she interacted with people, I could see her love and care for children, I saw a sacrificial lifestyle when it came to others, but I wanted to know more than her deeds, I wanted to know her ways.

To know someone’s ways requires a journey to walk out together, facing the unknown together, walking through uncertainties together, building confidence together in our uncertainties. This is the journey I wanted to take with Robin.

It was about six months before we got married and I remember taking Robin’s father out to dinner. My purpose was to ask for his daughter’s hand. I was preparing to ask the question, but my plate still had some lasagna to work through. Well, my plate was now empty, and I even wiped it clean with the garlic bread and now was the time to ask. The problem was that this was only stage one, I had to get past the dragon if I was ever going to get near the maiden. Well, the dragon’s answer caught me off guard, as he didn’t say yes and he didn’t say no, he simply said “Maybe we should go ask her”. The best I had for a reply was “OK”. My thought then was that perhaps I got past stage one, maybe?

On to his home to talk with his daughter. I remember sitting at the kitchen table beside Robin with her mom and dad in the room and now was the defining moment. Heaven and earth, time and space, past and future culminating to this one demarcation point. At that moment a scripture flashed before me “I stand at the door and knock” the question is “Will she answer?” Well, I faced my fears and insecurities, and I gave her my proposal. Then I heard the two words from Robin’s lips that were the keys to opening the door and granting us access into the beauty of the unknown. Those two words were “Most Certainly”.

Something That I have discovered over the years and even decades, is that my relationship with Robin echoes my relationship with God and my relationship with God echoes my relationship with Robin. Over the years I have asked Robin to jump off the proverbial cliff with me to see if we can fly and to my amazement, she didn’t just let me go jump but she took my hand in all her uncertainty, looked into my eyes with all that trust and said, “I’m ready, lets jump”. So together over the years and decades we have journeyed together through many adventures, some joyful, some painful, some scary and even frightening but we did it together and in doing so, I am beginning to discover her ways, I am transitioning from knowing about her (her deeds) to knowing her (her ways).

Psalm 103 verse 7 tells us that God made his ways known to Moses, but Israel only saw his deeds. Moses had to walk past his fears and insecurities; he had to journey beyond knowing about God (His deeds) and start a journey together with God so that he may discover His ways.

I am sure that like myself, Moses saw himself through the lens of his past, saw his failures and saw himself as damaged goods yet an inner desire for more drove him forward despite his own insecurities. In other words, Moses faced his inner fears and walked though them together with God whereas Israel chose what seemed to be the safe way and turned away from God in fear. Israel chose separation by rejecting the direct relationship and thus was limited to God’s deeds or knowing about God. Moses, on the other hand, walked through the dark places of his mind and together through the relationship began to discover God’s ways.

When I look at Christendom today, I see many who are content in knowing about God. These are faithful people who attend weekly church services, read their bibles daily, spend time in prayer and do the things that they are supposed to do. They can tell you the stories, they can quote the scriptures, but often they are confined to the parameters of gathered information and the pages of a book, in other words they know about His deeds. What is often missing is the journey together with God, going beyond ones’ fears and insecurities and discovering the beauty that can be found in a relationship and experience the unfolding of His ways that go beyond information and the parameters of a book.

What is missing? Often it is simply the proposal. If you can garner the courage and step out of your safe place and take a chance into the unknown, then I assure you that you too can experience a fullness of life beyond your comprehension, and it starts with a simple proposal. That proposal gives you the opportunity to hear the reply that changed my life, to hear the response “Most Certainly”.